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(This is a sticky post, please find current news items below) By John Roberts in GENERAL SITE INFORMATION |
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ARCHIVE MENUS AT LEFT
- Book: Cancer: 100 Ways to Fight
- Cancer Fighter Newsletter
- CanFighter Blog
- Author's Cancer Journal
SEE: www.CanFighter.com
- Subscribe to the free, weekly Cancer Fighter Newsletter.
- Book Information, Selections and Other Cancer Information.
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Cancer Fighter Newsletter Feb 15 2009: LIGHT A CANDLE
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Monday, 16 February 09 - 01:00 PM (GMT -05:00) By John Roberts in CANCER FIGHTER NEWSLETTER 2009 |
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The Cancer Fighter Newsletter
by
Based on the book: Cancer: 100 Ways to Fight
A Positive Guide for Patients, Survivors, Caregivers, and Loved Ones
Contact: John@www.CanFighter.com
IV/31. Light a Candle
Last days should also give peace to the living.
––
It is better to light one candle than to curse the darkness.
––Christopher Society, Motto
Old age is not an illness, it is a timeless ascent. As power diminishes, we grow towards the light.
––May Sarton
Now is the time to rise above your own troubles in order to lessen other people’s. Think about curing the people you love and forget yourself. We’ll all be thinking of you instead, and suffering for you.
––George Sand, letter to her close friend, Gustave Flaubert
Goodby
I was able to say goodby.
I was able to say I love you.
I was able to say thank you
for all the things you did.
I was able to tell him how much
he meant to me
and that was important.
Nothing else mattered.
––Maureen P. Keeley, Ph.D. and Julie M. Yingling, Ph.D,
Final Conversations: Helping the Living and the Dying
Talk to Each Other, 2007
When we are diagnosed with cancer, we suddenly become the focus of attention of a diverse group of people who care deeply about us, from nearby loved ones to distant researchers who do not know us. Some of what they do is beyond our control, but much is within our little sphere of influence. How well we manage and give to them has a significant bearing on our own happiness, survival, and final days. Regardless of our previous lives, we are now a leader of ourselves, and all the others. We will share our strength, understanding, and peace. Pass that candle to them to light their way, and they will return our love. And, they will share our vision and insight. When we leave, something of us will be left behind.
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MAGIC BULLET: LUNG CANCER
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Tuesday, 03 February 09 - 12:01 PM (GMT -05:00) By John Roberts in CANFIGHTER BLOG FEB 2009 |
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A Phase III trial of a new lung cancer drug combined with an old one was so successful that yesterday the trial was discontinued early so that the new treatment could be approved (especially for the half of the trial participants who weren't getting it). A double-blind trial means that neither the patient nor the doctor know which half of the trail population is receiving both the standard treatment plus the trail drug, and which half is not receiving the trial drug. This is necessary so that positive or negative attitudes do not affect results; but it also means that half of the participants may not get the benefits that help cure the disease or prolong life. That is the only way that successful new treatments can be identified. The trail participant is, in a real sense, contributing life for the advancement of science.
I am currently waiting for a drug that has been shown to be successful in a small trial, but needs a larger one before it can be reliably approved: frustrating but necessary. I may die earlier because of that, but I understand. All part of the mental discipline of living and dying with cancer.
INVESTING IN LOVE
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Monday, 02 February 09 - 04:05 PM (GMT -05:00) By John Roberts in CANFIGHTER BLOG FEB 2009 |
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Ben Stein, the wise investment and social columnist, always has something thoughtful to say. Last year was tough on most of us, this year won't be much better. But, some things can be constant if we take care of them. A good time to focus on our priorities is when the world is changing and we need to keep our bearings.
We will get through this. I wish I had bought more stock in 1979, and more real estate, too. But here's what I really miss about 1979: both of my parents were alive. I could have spent as much time as I wanted with them, I could have learned from them, shared with them. Loved them. Let them love me. I desperately wish it were 1979 again, not for Jimmy Carter and the bargain stock market, but for missing my parents, whom are both long gone now. I don't know if it's a good time to buy stocks or real estate or what the inflation rate will be next year. I do know you won't have forever with the people you love. Be with them now. That's your best thirty-year investment. You cannot lose.
––Ben Stein, The American Spectator,
Cancer Fighter Newsletter Feb 1 2009: CANCER IS YOUR SUPER BOWL
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Sunday, 01 February 09 - 11:27 AM (GMT -05:00) By John Roberts in CANCER FIGHTER NEWSLETTER 2009 |
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The Cancer Fighter Newsletter
A Free, Weekly Inspiration
For Patients, Survivors, Caregivers, and Loved Ones
by
Winning is habit-forming: start early, do not practice failing.
The difference between a successful person and others is not a lack of strength, not a lack of knowledge, but rather a lack of will.
––Vince Lombardi
What we think or what we know or what we believe is, in the end, of little consequence. The only consequence is what we do.
––John Ruskin
––
Cancer: 100 Ways to Fight
Subscribe to this free, weekly newsletter for motivational advice on how to improve and extend life with cancer. Please forward this to others in the world of cancer.
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John Roberts Cancer Journal Jan 16 2009 MY LAST YEAR
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Monday, 19 January 09 - 01:13 PM (GMT -05:00) By John Roberts in AUTHOR'S CANCER JOURNAL |
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John Roberts Cancer Journal
January 19, 2009
MY LAST YEAR
It is now likely that I will die before the end of 2009, according to the averages for my condition. I do not mean to be dramatic, but I believe in blunt talk and no denial. Acceptance of reality is not incompatible with fighting for life. I will, of course, continue to fight to extend the quantity and quality of my life. As the cancer tumors in my bones continue to grow and spread, as my immune system comes under assault, it is even more imperative that I continue the mental and physical strength and health programs that I have been fighting with for the past three years. Even if I fit into the middle of the bell-shaped curve where 50% of those with my condition die before three years, I know that good attitudes, fitness, and healthy practices can give me some additional time. It is still possible that I will move to the longer side of the curve and add more years to my life. I am 73 1/2, aiming for a party on my 75th birthday.
Meanwhile, science is trying hard to save me. Ten years ago, there were only a few drugs to treat cancer; now there are hundreds. Our new ability to see and change ourselves at the cellular level is on the verge of new cures. Earlier discovery has also helped. In the last 25 years, the five-year survival rate for all kinds of prostate cancer has shot up from 69% to nearly 99%. 10-year survival for everyone is now 91%, but in my case only 10%.
My problem is that my cancer metastasized to the bones before my prostate was removed, rooted and growing without the original source. That places me in the 1% of PC patients who will not live to five years because no cure has been found. In me, the two main treatments that prolong survival have now lost their effectiveness and only my strong efforts, good luck with the remaining minor successes, or a break-through by science will carry me beyond this year. However, I am in great physical and mental condition, and I know all the ways to fight, so I have good reason to believe that I will live longer than average.
Cancer is the toughest fight most of us will ever have. If you have cancer, you must fight. You fight to stay alive, but also for much more. If you win the fight, you have added another new life to your old one. Whether you are prolonging your life or sure to die, you are still fighting for other things, just as important: you are fighting for self-respect and dignity; you are fighting for peace and understanding; you are fighting for the ultimate reconciliation and love with your family and your spirituality. These are difficult challenges in the midst of your illness, but achieving these goals will give greater meaning to your life and the experience of dying, whenever it happens, whatever the cause.
Cancer Fighter Newsletter Jan 19 2009: CANCER: MY LAST YEAR
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Monday, 19 January 09 - 11:51 AM (GMT -05:00) By John Roberts in CANCER FIGHTER NEWSLETTER 2009 |
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It is now likely that I will die before the end of 2009, according to the averages for my condition. I do not mean to be dramatic, but I believe in blunt talk and no denial. Acceptance of reality is not incompatible with fighting for life. I will, of course, continue to fight to extend the quantity and quality of my life. As the cancer tumors in my bones continue to grow and spread, as my immune system comes under assault, it is even more imperative that I continue the mental and physical strength and health programs that I have been fighting with for the past three years. Even if I fit into the middle of the bell-shaped curve where 50% of those with my condition die before three years, I know that good attitudes, fitness, and healthy practices can give me some additional time. It is still possible that I will move to the longer side of the curve and add more years to my life. I am 73 1/2, aiming for a party on my 75th birthday.
Meanwhile, science is trying hard to save me. Ten years ago, there were only a few drugs to treat cancer; now there are hundreds. Our new ability to see and change ourselves at the cellular level is on the verge of new cures. Earlier discovery has also helped. In the last 25 years, the five-year survival rate for all kinds of prostate cancer has shot up from 69% to nearly 99%. 10-year survival for everyone is now 91%, but in my case only 10%.
My problem is that my cancer metastasized to the bones before my prostate was removed, rooted and growing without the original source. That places me in the 1% of PC patients who will not live to five years because no cure has been found. In me, the two main treatments that prolong survival have now lost their effectiveness and only my strong efforts, good luck with the remaining minor successes, or a break-through by science will carry me beyond this year. However, I am in great physical and mental condition, and I know all the ways to fight, so I have good reason to believe that I will live longer than average.
Cancer is the toughest fight most of us will ever have.
If you have cancer, you must fight. You fight to stay alive, but also for much more. If you win the fight, you have added another new life to your old one. Whether you are prolonging your life or sure to die, you are still fighting for other things, just as important: you are fighting for self-respect and dignity; you are fighting for peace and understanding; you are fighting for the ultimate reconciliation and love with your family and your spirituality. These are difficult challenges in the midst of your illness, but achieving these goals will give greater meaning to your life and the experience of dying, whenever it happens, whatever the cause.
John Roberts: Cancer: 100 Ways to Fight, No. 29 FIGHTING
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Saturday, 26 July 08 - 09:09 AM (GMT -05:00) By John Roberts in BOOK INFORMATION AND SELECTIONS |
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Complete Chapter Draft from the book in progress:
Cancer: 100 Ways to Fight
A Positive Guide for Patients, Survivors, Caregivers and Loved Ones
by John Roberts
See 25 more chapters at:
IV/26. FIGHTING
Fighting is not all outward aggression; some is self-control.
Knowing how to fight anything means knowing how comprehensive and coordinated the effort must be, all the while with sustained spirit and determination.
––John Roberts
Is this a private fight, or can anyone jump in?
––Irish Expression
Our culture and our society find it difficult to talk about illness, dying, and death. In part, our silence has fostered an information void that prevents people with cancer from knowing about and accessing the resources they need as they face the last years, months, and days of their lives….Both the public and the professional community need to be better educated about how to improve patient and physician communication, how to manage symptoms, and how to access and provide psychological support.
––Kathleen M. Foley, M.D., Ed., When the Focus Is on Care, 2005
In the end the great truth will have been learned, that the quest is greater than what is sought, the effort finer than the prize, or rather that the effort is the prize, the victory cheap and hollow were it not for the rigor of the game.
––Benjamin Cardozo
A more subtle factor in the production and maintenance of physical health is morale, or “spirit.” Increasing evidence is pointing to the fact that if a person finds his life challenging, purposeful, satisfying, and meaningful, his body works better, maintains its health better, and resists infectious illness better. Such a life, characterized by meaningful work, enjoyable play, and love and friendship thus seems to function as a kind of inexpensive health insurance.
––Sidney M. Jourard, Personal Adjustment, 2nd Ed., 1963
We shall fight on the beaches, we shall fight on the landing grounds, we shall fight in the fields and in the streets, we shall fight in the hills; we shall never surrender.
––Winston Churchill, Speech to Parliament, June 4, 1940
Natural selection made man a fighter. The strong survived before man had weapons, and the instincts and responses are still buried in the brain for use when aroused by danger. Then, as now, there are times when the most dangerous thing to do is withdraw, and the safest thing to do is attack. Use the brain you have. Drag up your survival instinct and put it to good use. You have to reinvigorate it by thinking about it at length.
No one deserves gentle kindness more than the weak, ill and dying. Yet, to the best of their ability, they need to get a grip on reality, overcome their weaknesses and fears and take command of their illness and future. Sometimes a form of tough love from those around them is necessary to shake them out of their feeling of sorrow for themselves so that they will fight their disease and make the most of their remaining lives. This, of course, must be done very carefully, according to the nature and condition of the person.
Cancer is not a disease to resist passively or sporadically. Fighting requires major changes in attitude, physical fitness and health management. It may require a whole new orientation to daily life and behavior. It is no longer a part-time effort, like going to the gym. It calls for persistent multi-tasking and effective prioritization based on knowledge, instinct and self-awareness . The enemy may be weakening, but we may not be able to tell. We have to assume that the turning point is near and keeping up the pressure may finally win the struggle. Sometimes a cancer patient will get steadily worse, while most will have short-term ups and downs that may cause long-term misjudgments.
Fighting is supported by both hope and realism, by both feelings and facts. Many different thoughts and emotions will course through our heads, and we must manage them effectively. Imagine the steady effort that enabled victory in World War II, over several long and painful years. Backing away from the enemy or allowing unnecessary losses only means old ground must be retaken or, worse, momentum reverses at that minor tipping point and the war is lost. All this is difficult for the person who has had an easy life, without the need for great efforts. We must remember that our prehistoric ancestors survived and evolved into modern humans because they were fighters.
John Roberts: Cancer: 100 Ways to Fight, No. 28 ACTION
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Monday, 14 July 08 - 08:19 PM (GMT -05:00) By John Roberts in BOOK INFORMATION AND SELECTIONS |
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Cancer: 100 Ways to Fight
A Positive Guide
for Patients, Survivors, Caregivers and Loved Ones.
V/46. Action
––John Roberts
––Thomas Huxley, Technical Education (1877)
––Norman Douglas
And tilt at windmills under a wild sky!
For who would live so petty and unblest
That dare not tilt at something ere he die;
Rather than, screened by safe majority,
Preserve his little life to little end,
And never raise a rebel cry!
––John Galsworthy, Errantry (Collected Poems), 1934
We all know that feeling of being frozen into indecision by fear or lack of information. Sometimes, action requires some thought beforehand, when a new situation pops up which we have not planned for or thought about. Sometimes the necessary decision-making information is not available, perhaps never will be. And, sometimes, there is no time to think, or the opportunity, or the last chance for safety, is gone. On the other hand, there is often plenty of information and plenty of time, yet the decision still turns out to be evasive or wrong. Not all decisions are black or white, and not all of us are good at organizing information and making sound judgments.
The person who takes action in the face of challenge and threat is admirable. In that image, however, must be included training, preparation and clear thought under pressure of time and circumstances, so that action is not foolish or inexperienced. As a fighter pilot, I know there are times when the safest thing to do is to act, and the most dangerous thing to do is nothing. That doesn’t mean you don’t know when to keep your head down and your defenses up.
John Roberts: Cancer: 100 Ways to Fight, No. 27 MOTIVATION
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Saturday, 05 July 08 - 04:21 PM (GMT -05:00) By John Roberts in BOOK INFORMATION AND SELECTIONS |
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IV/24. Motivation
––John Roberts
To have his path made clear for him is the aspiration of every human being in our beclouded and tempestuous existence.
––Joseph Conrad, The Mirror of the Sea, 1906
––Arthur Schopenhauer
––Sandra Aamodt and Sam Wang, “Tighten Your Belt, Strengthen Your Mind,” New York Times,
––Unknown
––Charles J. Givens, SuperSelf, 1993
Fighting cancer while suffering the mental and physical problems it causes is clearly a situation calling for strong motivation. The greatest need for motivation occurs at the time when we least feel like motivating ourselves to do difficult things. The greatest need occurs when the greatest effort is required to take the next step. I have been there in every one of the races in my 50 years of running. That is a simple situation. When we are ill, however, there are many alternatives and uncertainties, and suffering from cancer is a lot worse than suffering from oxygen deprivation. Successful motivation derives from being informed and organized. Then, we find it easier to make choices and work hard at succeeding in simultaneous battles.
John Roberts: Cancer: 100 Ways to Fight, No. 25 DENIAL
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Saturday, 21 June 08 - 11:29 AM (GMT -05:00) By John Roberts in BOOK INFORMATION AND SELECTIONS |
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My Blogs and Newsletter are selected from a book in progress:
Cancer: 100 Ways to Fight
A Positive Guide for Patients, Survivors, Caregivers and Loved Ones.
My website has much useful information such as
hundreds of cancer/health links and books and an Archive of abbreviated book chapters.
www.CanFighter.com
Cancer: 100 Ways to Fight No. 25
Denial
by John Roberts
I do not deny, I accept. I fight. That opens many doors.
How can you fight something that you don’t believe exists? Don’t be silly. If you have cancer, it’s growing every day. Life is too short. Believing the illness does not mean believing you will die. It is not negative to accept reality; it is positive to identify the problem and then attack it. Adjusting may take time, but that time should also be used to learn, accept and control your future.
––John Roberts
We must accept finite disappointment, but we must never lose infinite hope.
––Martin Luther King, Jr.
God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.
––Reinhold Niebuhr
How we handle the abrupt, difficult and emotional transition from good health to living with cancer depends on many variables, both internal and external. It calls for help, courage and wisdom. Whether patient or loved one, first there is the normal grief and denial of learning of the illness. But, there are things to be done to treat, to cure and prolong life. It is not the knowledge of the illness that should be thrust aside, it is the fear. Gathering facts and informed opinion, considering options and planning treatment will reduce the fear and prepare for action that will change things for the better. Later, one faces the nearness and reality of death with new strength developed during the illness.
I accept that a stage of denial can be useful to many people in dealing with the initial bad news. What I do not accept is that this is allowed to go on and on, ignoring the reality and facts, and preventing one from taking action to deal with the disease. For some, denial is a useful transition to acceptance, but it should not be prolonged and used as a dishonest therapy. One must not sink into apathy and inaction. There may be exceptions, if that helps provide quality of life in someone who would suffer greatly and/or stop fighting in the face of the real facts.
There is a contentment and power that comes from being in harmony with reality. We should not deny unpleasant facts, but we may resist the worst of the possible outcomes. It is imperative to distinguish between those two things, and to attack them in totally different ways.
John Roberts: Cancer: 100 Ways to Fight, No. 24 ACCEPTANCE
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Saturday, 14 June 08 - 01:43 PM (GMT -05:00) By John Roberts in BOOK INFORMATION AND SELECTIONS |
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My Blogs and Newsletter are selected from a book in progress:
Cancer: 100 Ways to Fight
A Positive Guide for Patients, Survivors, Caregivers and Loved Ones.
My website has much useful information such as hundreds of cancer/health links and books and an Archive of abbreviated book chapters.
Subscribe or unsubscribe there for yourself or others.
We will not sell or invade the privacy of your address.
100 Ways to Fight are available for organizations, publications and websites.
Free, Weekly. Contact me.
100 Ways to Fight
Acceptance
by John Roberts
Acceptance should be decisive, and commitment to action.
We should be reluctant to accept what we do not understand, but there are mysteries we will never solve. So, we take some things on faith or with a little sugar, or grim reality or a stubborn will to resist anyway. The goal is to avoid decisions unimproved by facts.
––John Roberts
Let it be.
––Paul McCartney, Song, 1970
Acceptance should not be mistaken for a happy state. It is almost void of feelings. It is as if the pain had gone, the struggle is over, and there comes a time for “the final rest before the long journey.”
––Elisabeth Kübler-Ross, On Death and Dying, 1969
It is difficult for us, and those who help us, to improve our condition if we do not accept it. How can we follow advice if we do not accept the reason and need? How can we develop a positive mental attitude unless it is based on a clear understanding of the facts? One of the facts may be that our cancer often has an uncertain future. Incorrect assumptions or beliefs are likely to lead us to take the wrong actions, and action is what solves our problem. In other words, hanging on to comforting thoughts could cause a failure to treat or cure our disease. If cancer is best attacked in a hundred ways, it is best to accept the target, even if we positively resist our individual susceptibility.
As we accept our illness and the possible consequences, we also develop new attitudes and arrangements for time remaining. We may start to throw out problems and distractions that are no longer important. Acceptance of reality enables us to clean up and limit our personal world. We establish new goals, with focus on a search for a clear understanding of our condition and our manner of leaving. So, acceptance is critical to our change into a person determined to make the best of life and to leave life in the best way.
John Roberts: Cancer: 100 Ways to Fight, No. 23 REALITY
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Saturday, 07 June 08 - 10:02 AM (GMT -05:00) By John Roberts in BOOK INFORMATION AND SELECTIONS |
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My Blogs and Newsletter are selected from a book in progress:
Cancer: 100 Ways to Fight
A Positive Guide for Patients, Survivors, Caregivers and Loved Ones.
My website has much useful information such as
hundreds of cancer/health links and books and an Archive of abbreviated book chapters.
Subscribe or unsubscribe there for yourself or others.
We will not sell or invade the privacy of your address.
100 Ways to Fight are available for organizations, publications and websites.
Free, Weekly. Contact me.
100 Ways to Fight
Reality
by John Roberts
You cannot fight what you do not accept as real.
The world is full of spin, lies and deception, but nothing threatens the practical reality that should govern our lives more than our own illusions and wishful thinking. There is nothing wrong with optimistic hopes while facing uncertain or extremely pessimistic outcomes, so long as one does not ignore the facts.
––John Roberts
Humankind cannot bear very much reality.
––T.S. Eliot, Murder in the Cathedral, 1935
Formerly, when religion was strong and science weak, men mistook magic for medicine; now, when science is strong and religion weak, men mistake medicine for magic.
––Thomas Szasz, The Second Sin, 1974
Reality is the essence of life. We may try to avoid it, sometimes we can fool ourselves for a time, but it will not go away and it eventually triumphs. Regardless of where we are in the cancer sequence from diagnosis to remission, cure or death, there finally comes a time when most of us are better off accepting reality than entertaining false hopes. Most of the way, however, the objective is to maintain the optimistic attitude and fighting spirit that is essential to improving the odds, however positive or dismal they may be.
This, however, may not so easily carry over into illness which is entitled to more compassion than the lesser hard realities of daily life. The judgment about how much truth to give a patient, especially a dying one, can only be left to the individuals involved. In some cases, it may be better to avoid the pain of reality and continue the comfort of pretending that the outcome will be OK. Some patients may move quickly toward a drugged or comatose state where there is no need to discuss what is to come. Others will know when the time has come, and slip into a state of peace and acceptance.
John Roberts: Cancer: 100 Ways to Fight: No. 22, WORRY
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Saturday, 31 May 08 - 10:16 AM (GMT -05:00) By John Roberts in BOOK INFORMATION AND SELECTIONS |
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My Blogs and Newsletter are selected from a book in progress:
Cancer: 100 Ways to Fight
A Positive Guide for Patients, Survivors, Caregivers and Loved Ones.
My website has much useful information such as
hundreds of cancer/health links and books and an Archive of abbreviated book chapters.
Subscribe or unsubscribe there for yourself or others.
We will not sell or invade the privacy of your address.
100 Ways to Fight are available for organizations, publications and websites. Free, Weekly. Contact me.
100 Ways to Fight
Worry
by John Roberts
It’s your mind. You have trained it for a lifetime. Control it.
––John Roberts
Consider it not so deeply.
––William Shakespeare, Macbeth, 1606
A bodily disease, which we look upon as whole and entire within itself, may, after all, be but a symptom of some ailment in the spiritual part.
––Nathaniel Hawthorne
Unfortunately, trying to completely eliminate worry is a self-defeating goal that sets you up for failure because it’s unachievable. The truth is that some worry is a reality of life. It’s when worry is persistent, out of control, and unproductive that it becomes a problem. That’s why we stress setting the goal of controlling unproductive worry, not eliminating all worry.
Pamela S. Wiegartz, Ph.D. and Kevin L. Gyoerkoe, Psy.D.,
10 Simple Solutions to Worry, 2006
Researchers have found that people under stress are more likely than less-stressed people to develop infectious diseases….The effects are especially strong in the elderly….Just as stressors can suppress the immune system, social support and other stress-mediating factors can help to sustain it.
––Douglas A. Berstein & Peggy W. Nash,
Essentials of Psychology, 3rd Ed., 2005
We must wash our minds of the bad memories of the past and the imagined, exaggerated worries about the future. Some of these may certainly be legitimate, and there may be a remaining time for dealing with them. As they say, even paranoids have enemies. But, they must be isolated in their own area and prevented from infecting our sustained optimism and happiness. The best solution is to discuss worries with someone who can correct misconceptions, reduce them to unemotional matters and facts to be dealt with and transfer the confidence and comfort that ameliorates our concerns.
Cancer: 100 Ways to Fight No. 20 SOLITUDE
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Sunday, 18 May 08 - 05:52 PM (GMT -05:00) By John Roberts in BOOK INFORMATION AND SELECTIONS |
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My Blogs and Newsletter are selected from a book in progress:
Cancer: 100 Ways to Fight
A Positive Guide for Patients, Survivors, Caregivers and Loved Ones.
My website has much useful information such as
hundreds of cancer links and books and an Archive of abbreviated book chapters.
Subscribe or unsubscribe there for yourself or others.
We will not sell or invade the privacy of your address.
100 Ways to Fight are available for publications and websites.
Free, Weekly. Contact me.
Cancer: 100 Ways to Fight No. 20
Solitude
by John Roberts
Solitude is not loneliness; it is a crowd of friendly ideas.
Solitude is my greatest solace and my greatest strength, because that is when my mind is at its best and I can focus intently on its memories, lessons and goals. That is my daily inspiration, refreshment and settlement.
Command of solitude means I am in command of my life, and the end of it. I will not surrender any of that.
––John Roberts
The strongest man in the world is he who stands most alone.
––Henrik Ibsen
I was never less alone than while by myself.
––Edward Gibbon, Memoirs, 1796
I never found the companion that was so companionable as solitude….
If a man does not keep pace with his companions, perhaps it is because he hears a different drummer. Let him step to the music which he hears, however measured or far away.
––Henry David Thoreau, Walden, 1854
In solitude one is not lonely, even though alone. Indeed, there are periods of successful solitude in the presence of others, a rudeness one must be careful about. For me, that state of mind is different from focused meditation and quiet contemplation of self and world, those other valuable skills. For me it is placing my mind away from lesser distractions and then arranging and adding understanding and connectivity to the disorganized storm of fact, opinion and observation that intrudes on my sense of peace. Getting my mental house in order is the measure and duty of a lifetime, all the more so as I try to clean up and prepare for the shut-down of that curious and fervid brain that has lured me into so much joy, excitement and satisfaction, but also dismay, failure and regret.
In order to spend time happily and productively with yourself, you have to enjoy the company. That means humble and enduring self-respect, which can only be developed in solitude. It is a chicken and an egg. Don’t look to others to build your self-esteem; do it yourself, it’s more reliable. Solitude is a quality that must be carefully managed. It is a positive experience that enables close touch with self, nature and spirituality. It is important to separate that introspection and problem-solving from the possible negative impact of withdrawal from people and society. It is one thing to move positively into solitude, another to move negatively away from the world.
Cancer: 100 Ways to Fight No. 19 AGING
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Saturday, 10 May 08 - 05:48 PM (GMT -05:00) By John Roberts in BOOK INFORMATION AND SELECTIONS |
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Cancer: 100 Ways to Fight
Aging
by John Roberts
Aging is putting the final touches of genius on a grand work of art, including painting over the earlier mistakes.
––John Roberts
Few people know how to be old.
––La Rochefoucauld, Maxims, 1678
“Aging is not just decay, you know. It’s growth. It’s more than the negative that you’re going to die, it’s also the positive that you understand you’re going to die, and that you live a better life because of it.”
Yes, I said, but if aging were so valuable, why do people always say, “Oh, if I were young again.” You never hear people say, “I wish I were sixty-five.”
He smiled. “You know what that reflects? Unsatisfied lives. Unfulfilled lives. Lives that haven’t found meaning. Because if you’ve found meaning in your life, you don’t want to go back. You want to go forward. You want to see more, do more. You can’t wait until sixty-five.”
––Mitch Albom, Tuesdays with Morrie, 1997
There is only one solution if old age is not to be an absurd parody of our former life, and that is to go on pursuing ends that give our existence a meaning––devotion to individuals, to groups or to causes, social, political, intellectual or creative work….One’s life has value so long as one attributes value to the life of others by means of love, friendship, compassion.
–Simone de Beauvoir, The Coming of Age, 1970
In order to believe that your final years of wisdom have greater value than the frenetic cyclones of youth, you have to develop a clear vision, and probably a change of behavior, that is consistent with that belief. The essence of that is fighting with great spirit to prolong life against the vicissitudes of illness and aging. I believe this requires that you have that deeply imbedded self-respect that demands to be preserved and that I emphasize in this book; it means that you have made such a great improvement in your character and your understanding of the world that the contrast is obvious, at least to yourself; and your values and actions are the same as what you truly are, meaning integrity. That becomes the source of your fighting spirit, and your right to those golden years.
Cancer: 100 Ways to Fight
A Positive Guide for Patients, Survivors, Caregivers and Loved Ones.
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Cancer Fighting Tips No. 18 FEAR
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Monday, 05 May 08 - 11:17 AM (GMT -05:00) By John Roberts in BOOK INFORMATION AND SELECTIONS |
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My Weekly Newsletter of Cancer Fighting Tips
is selected from my book in progress:
Cancer: 100 Ways to Fight
A Positive Guide for Patients, Survivors, Caregivers and Loved Ones.
Please forward Tips to others who may benefit.
My website has much useful information such as
hundreds of cancer links and books and a Tips Archive.
Subscribe or unsubscribe there for yourself or others.
We will not sell or invade the privacy of your address.
Free, Weekly. Contact me.
Cancer Fighting Tips No. 18
Fear
by John Roberts
Replace fear with knowledge and hope.
Conquer fear, the first and longest battle you will ever fight.
It is easy to become immobilized, frozen in the headlights, unable to think clearly or act rationally when confronted with danger or bad surprise. It is necessary to stop those thoughts, or at least postpone them, and focus on the thinking that solves the problem. Emotions are not entitled to control you. It is your mind: control it ruthlessly; but, you can’t unless you practice.
––John Roberts
Death in itself is nothing; but we fear
To be we know not what, we know not where.
––John Dryden, Aureng-Zebe, 1676
To bear all naked truths,
And to envision circumstances, all calm,
That is the top of sovereignty.
––John Keats, Hyperion, 1820
Cancer Fighting Tips No. 17 EMOTIONS
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Sunday, 27 April 08 - 03:53 PM (GMT -05:00) By John Roberts in BOOK INFORMATION AND SELECTIONS |
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My Weekly Newsletter of Cancer Fighting Tips
is selected from my book in progress:
Cancer: 100 Ways to Fight
A Positive Guide for Patients, Survivors, Caregivers and Loved Ones.
Please forward Tips to others who may benefit.
My website has much useful information such as
hundreds of cancer links and books and a Tips Archive.
Subscribe or unsubscribe there for yourself or others.
We will not sell or invade the privacy of your address.
Tips are available for publications and websites.
Free, Weekly. Contact me.
Cancer Fighting Tips No. 17
Emotions
by John Roberts
Brains are rational, except for their emotions.
There is no greater happiness than to be able to bury the turmoil of bad emotions and fully experience the deep and prolonged joy of the best ones. Achieve that in your golden years and you will be rich indeed.
––John Roberts
Emotions that are acknowledged are partly neutralized.
––Dr. Robert Buckman,
Cancer is a word, not a sentence, 2006
The long-term survivors were the ones who began to pay attention to their feelings. As they expressed their emotions, made wise choices and became more spiritual, their bodies benefited. The physical changes were the side effects of an altered life.
––Bernie S. Siegel, M.D., Prescriptions for Living, 1998
Emotions are the true instruments for change.
The patient’s emotions supply the only source of power capable of shifting the weights of conduct. By alleviating fear, reinforcing conscience mechanisms, intensifying guilt where absent, encouraging pride, reducing inappropriate shame, the power of the emotions can be mobilized to force actions to change behavior from self-destructive to self-fulfilling.
Willard Gaylin, M.D., Talk is Not Enough, 2000
Emotional control is essential to success and happiness in life, never more than when we face chronic illness and the threat of death. The essence of this is that we must learn to set aside or control the “bad” emotions, and strengthen the value of good ones. Most people have trouble in enabling that distinction. Prolonged bad emotions can cause unhealthy physical changes, and the good ones accomplish the reverse. Once we control our emotions, we may concentrate on controlling our activity, thoughts and happiness every day, and thereby improve our health and strength to fight disease.
Cancer Fighting Tips No. 16 PERSEVERENCE
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Saturday, 19 April 08 - 09:56 AM (GMT -05:00) By John Roberts in BOOK INFORMATION AND SELECTIONS |
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My Weekly Newsletter of Cancer Fighting Tips
is selected from my book in progress:
Cancer: 100 Ways to Fight
A Positive Guide for Patients, Survivors, Caregivers and Loved Ones.
Please forward Tips to others who may benefit.
My website has much useful information such as
hundreds of cancer links and books and a Tips Archive.
Subscribe or unsubscribe there for yourself or others.
We will not sell or invade the privacy of your address.
Tips are available for publications and websites.
Free, Weekly. Contact me.
Cancer Fighting Tips No. 16
Persistence
by John Roberts
To go on, and on, and on, with spirit, as long as it takes.
The great leaders all say the same thing: the principle element of success, above all the others, is simple perseverance, the determination and drive to refuse to quit and to keep going when you don't feel like it, when the obstacles are high and your morale is low. That is when the successful person breaks out of the pack and leaps over failure.
––John Roberts
Never say die.
––Charles Dickens
–Samuel Beckett, Waiting for Godot, 1952
It is merely a matter of degree when you persist in life, when you refuse to quit, when you simply say to yourself, I have no choice, I must go on. I still have the energy and the will for one more step. Just practice that with greater and greater challenges, for years and years at every opportunity, and you may find that when the greatest challenge of all comes around, you are ready, however much it hurts, however many voices tell you it is OK to stop and think up reasons to fail.
There is a quitter in all of us, and the sooner we kill it, the better off we will be in life, and facing death. Sometimes we need help when we are young, and haven’t yet learned how easy it can be if we practice and keep raising our resistance. When we encounter failure or obstacles to our goals, we develop fatigue that penetrates the body and destroys the will to go on. But, there is usually enough energy for one more step, and then another and another, before the body and mind will simply no longer respond. So you go on, step by weary step. And you survive and sometimes succeed.
Cancer Fighting Tips No. 15 STRENGTH
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Saturday, 12 April 08 - 01:21 PM (GMT -05:00) By John Roberts in BOOK INFORMATION AND SELECTIONS |
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My Weekly Newsletter of Cancer Fighting Tips
is selected from my book in progress:
Cancer: 100 Ways to Fight
A Positive Guide for Patients, Survivors, Caregivers and Loved Ones.
Please forward Tips to others who may benefit.
My website has much useful information such as
hundreds of cancer links and books and a Tips Archive.
Subscribe or unsubscribe there for yourself or others.
We will not sell or invade the privacy of your address.
Tips are available for publications and websites.
Free, Weekly. Contact me.
Cancer Fighting Tips No. 15
Strength
by John Roberts
Most of your fighting strength is in your head.
––John Roberts
––John F. Kennedy, Prayer Breakfast,
––Maxine Schnall, What Doesn’t Kill You Makes You Stronger, 2000
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